by Anne Peterson | Blogging |
A book review of Who Not How by Dan Sullivan and Dr. Benjamin Hardy.
This is a guest post contribution by Anne Peterson. Anne is a poet, speaker, and published author of 16 books, including a children’s books, poetry books, two memoirs.
I love to write. But sometimes writers find we put books out there, but people are not breaking down doors to buy our books. Okay, most of the time. But this book I’ve recently devoured will change all that. I’ve found out I’ve been asking the wrong question when it comes to wanting to succeed with my goal of getting my books before as many eyes as possible. Could it be that you have been asking the wrong question, too?
I’ve been asking How do I do this?
Instead of Who can help me with this?
Dan Sullivan and Benjamin Hardy’s book, Who Not How is not just a good read, although that’s true as well. It is a revolutionary idea. It gets us to look at things differently.
“By asking this new and better question, you’ll start to make immediate progress toward even your biggest goals. You’ll have access to someone else’s time, knowledge, connections, and capability. You’ll stop being limited by yourself.”
That last paragraph is enough to chew on for quite a while. But before you misunderstand, and think you’ll be looking for what you can get from others, that’s not true at all. It’s a mutual arrangement that you’ll make. A win/win for sure. Peppered throughout the book are wonderful quotes from people we’ve all heard about. Like this one from Zig Ziglar.
“You can have everything in life you want, if you
will just help other people get what they want.”
It doesn’t mean we do everything they need, but instead, through our resources we create something even more wonderful than we would have created by ourselves.
Over and over Hardy doesn’t just tell us what we should do,
but explains step by step how to do it.
And even though I learned I was asking the wrong question, I felt free to admit I’ve been doing it wrong and I didn’t feel shamed at all. Perhaps because there was transparency by the author. He admitted it was something he needed to learn himself.
For so long, I have been comparing myself with others and getting frustrated wondering why things weren’t working out for me. It even got to the point that I had trouble being excited for fellow writers, as one by one, doors seemed to be opening for them. When was it my turn? Foolishly, I felt like I could not do anything to change that. After reading this book, I learned my thinking was faulty. This book made the playing field level, and coached me into seeing what I need to do about my life.
Another real plus for this book is that it doesn’t deal with one aspect of our lives alone, but all the pieces that make up the whole. It can help us in regards to our relationships, our finances, our fitness and even more areas.
I love stories. I think most writers do.
This book is full of them.
Stories about collaborations and how the two parties took the best of what they had and combined it to make an even better product. If you’ve ever thought of collaborating with someone you’ll find practical advice in this book.
Can I just tell you that I found this book highly motivational?
The fact that Benjamin Hardy benefited from his findings wasn’t enough for him. He had to take that motivation he felt and share in each and every page written.
I didn’t feel alone in this.
You could imagine if we were to share our goals and visions, he would be in the audience cheering us on.
While this book applies to many areas of our lives it was also a book that dared and encouraged us, to think huge. Almost as if anything we could imagine could be done. The bigger the better!
And then there were even more examples of those who practiced these principles and came out with flying colors.
When I first started writing
I remember I was a returning student.
I loved learning and being in class. It was different than in earlier years when attending was expected. When I’d get an assignment for any type of paper, I had to show self restraint and not get too excited. And getting feedback satisfied something deep inside of me. Being a returning student the gap in age between me and my instructors was small. Their encouragement fueled me making me want to soar.
Two of my instructors hosted poetry parties for me when they read my work. And in one of those parties eight women purchased one of my poems. A poem that later got me into a company back in 1996 that I still write for. When I read in Who Not How that one of the first steps is to articulate what it is you want to do. To write it out and then speak it. I immediately remembered doing just that. And the results they talked about in the book were the ones I experienced.
For me, this book was a wake up call. Somewhere along the line, I started realizing that I was doing something wrong. And it’s true. Because I was doing it all, but not very well. In his book, Hardy states instead of us doing everything and getting exhausted, we should concentrate on the things we love to do and find a person to do those things that we hate. Doesn’t that make you excited?
If that’s not enough…
Hardy states that there are people out there who would love to help in the areas we struggle with.
This was a book I will read again and again. I know my tendency is to try something then revert back to picking up the whole project myself.
“If you always do what you’ve always done, you always get what you’ve always got.”
Albert Einstein
The choice is ours. Will you stay on the treadmill? As for me, I’m getting off.
Get your copy of Who Not How today.
And watch the landscape of your life begin to change.
by Ryan Biddulph | Blogging, Guest Posts |
This is a guest post by Ryan Biddulph. He shares smart blogging tips at Blogging From Paradise.
Bloggers sometimes take it easy if business seems slow.
I take the opposite approach.
I help more people for free through more channels if blogging business seems slow for a short stretch. Why? Helping more people for free through more channels allows me to help more people for pay.
Helping people for free increases your skills, exposure and credibility. Skilled bloggers with great exposure and strong credibility profit handsomely over the long haul.
Guard against the backwards-thinking mistake of pulling back on helping people for free through:
- blogging
- guest posting
- promoting other bloggers on your blog and through social media.
Is Your Blogging Business Slow?
Blogging business seems slow because you have not helped enough people for free for a sustained period of time.
What do I mean by helping people for free? Creating content for free and building connections by freely helping fellow bloggers and asking for nothing in return both form the foundation of building a thriving blogging business. Imagine writing and publishing 1 blog post and 1 guest post daily for the next month. 30 days down the road you will have increased your:
- skills
- exposure
- credibility
by writing and publishing 30 blog posts and 30 guest posts. Writing 60 posts polishes your writing skills. Appearing in 60 more spots boosts your exposure. Being skilled and seen fortifies your credibly. Guess what happens when more people see your blog and trust your skills? Expect to see an increase in blogging business because skilled, credible bloggers with solid exposure profit through their blog.
As a rule, bloggers who struggle to build a thriving business hold back. Struggling bloggers publish one blog post, promote the blog post through a few channels then sit around and wait for business to grow over the following 1-2 months. Gaining sufficient skills, exposure and credibility is quite difficult for most bloggers who publish a post every 1-2 months.
Prospering bloggers generously help people
without holding back.
I have observed a number of highly successful bloggers who created and published blog posts and guest posts for years before hitting it hit. One millionaire blogger has published almost daily for the past 15 years, between himself and his guest bloggers. He admits he’d still be blogging 15 years later even if he had not made a penny because he blogs mainly for fun versus blogging mainly for money.
Another millionaire blogger published 2-3 valuable posts daily while building friendships with people who handled syndication at major business publications. He basically worked for free for quite a long time before his valuable content and business connections helped him become a millionaire through blogging.
Blogging business seems slow
not because of any specific cycle.
Blogging business seems slow because you have not created enough free content and made enough influential blogging buddies to increase your skills, exposure and credibility to thriving professional levels consistent with seeing ever-expanding blogging business success. After being incredibly generous for 1000’s of hours you will reach a tipping point where your blogging income increases consistently. Being seen as a credible blogger in a high number of spots allows you to profit handsomely over the long haul.
But prepare yourself to put in the time over 5-10 years of your life to reach a level of ever increasing blogging returns from a business perspective. Overnight success does not exist. Do not hold back after creating and connecting generously for a few months. Never be stingy. Highly successful, powerful bloggers can afford to be stingy but these folks continue to help people freely because being generous is in their DNA.
Give freely.
Receive easily.
Accelerate your blogging business growth by generously creating and connecting.
by Ryan Biddulph | Blogging, Guest Posts |
This is a guest post by Ryan Biddulph. He shares smart blogging tips at Blogging From Paradise.
11:49 PM on a Friday night.
I intend to slap another blogging single.
I built my career not on writing and publishing spectacular, viral blog posts but by writing short, simple blog posts over a decade. Help people with clear, simple posts. Solve problems. Develop a viral online presence versus trying to write a viral post.
Most bloggers swing and whiff because most bloggers put too much attention, energy, fear and attachment into a single blog post. For every viral post millions upon millions die in the cyber grave yard being virtually undetected.
Stop trying to hit a blogging home run every time you publish a blog post. Slap singles day after day to learn the secret of becoming a professional blogger.
The Legend Shares
Someone once asked online legend Gary Vaynerchuk how he landed an interview on the world-renowned Conan O’Brien Show. He shared how he completed over 2000 YouTube interviews. Gary Vee also explained how a decent chunk of the interviews registered zero views. He simply did not turn down an open mic. Gary did not land the interview on a world-famous show by hitting 1 or 2 home runs in the form of viral blog posts. He hit thousands upon thousands of singles by accepting 2000 plus interviews for virtually any YouTuber who asked to interview him.
Legends focus on being solid for 10,000, 15,000, 20,000 hours or more. Fools and failures try to be spectacular for a day, week, month or year.
Stop swinging for the fences. Start slapping singles. Embody the secret of happy, poised, professional bloggers. Go pro by writing simple, helpful blog posts thousands upon thousands of times as you build your friend network, open multiple streams of income and trust in the blogging process.
I Hit Singles for 10 Years
Bloggers sometimes ask how I got featured on Fox News, Forbes, Virgin and Entrepreneur.
I simply wrote and published helpful blog posts for years while networking genuinely, generously and persistently. My answer confuses new bloggers. Newbies believe pros do spectacular, eye-popping stuff to pop up on the radar screen of contributors from world-renowned blogs, brands and businesses. Nothing could be further from the truth.
Forbes, Fox News, Entrepreneur and Virgin contributors pitched me because I popped up on the radar screen of contributors from each business. I popped up on the radar screen of these contributors because I appear to be in tens of thousands of spots in my blogging niche. I appear in this many spots because I published 5,000 plus pieces of simple, easy to understand content.
This guest post may not knock your socks off but my clear, powerful message expands my presence more and increases the chances that I pop up on the radar screen of major media outlets, influencers or other powerful entities.
I hit singles for a decade by publishing basic, helpful content. I retired to a life of island hopping by keeping things simple, patient and persistent.
Blog Simply for a Long Time Versus Spectacularly
for a Short Time
Blog simply for thousands of hours to go pro.
Trying to blog spectacularly for a short time leads to struggles, failure and quitting because short-term bloggers gain no real skills, exposure or credibility. Unskilled bloggers with no real exposure and no genuine credibility struggle, fail and quit 100% of the time.
Listen to reader problems. Publish posts to solve the problems. Do this for years. Network generously for years. Open multiple income streams. Succeed.
Keep it simple for a long time to become a professional blogger.
by Ryan Biddulph | Blogging, Guest Posts |
This is a guest post by Ryan Biddulph. He shares smart blogging tips at Blogging From Paradise.
I own:
- a carry on
- a Chromebook
- a laptop
- shorts, t-shirts, sweats, socks and 2 pairs of sneakers; about 1 week before I need to do laundry
- a phone
Read my blog. Watch one of my videos. Read one of my eBooks. What you see is what you get. I do not act. Nor do I create a carefully crafted online persona. I do my best to be 100% authentic in all I do. I do not try to impress people; I have virtually no physical possessions save my clothes, carry on and minimal business equipment investments. No house. No car.
I am who I am.
Reach the next level of blogging.
Being genuine to the absolute core has helped me reach the next level of blogging. I feel grateful to have been featured on Fox News, Forbes, Entrepreneur, Virgin and Positively Positive but each feature merely reflected back my commitment to blogging and more importantly, my clarity in being as genuine as humanly possible.
Even established pros have a tough time being fully genuine because most try to convey a specific brand image non-resonant with who they are as a human being. Although this dissonance is OK, you can never reach the highest level of any venture unless you are virtually 100% clear on what you do. Being 100% genuine is the only way to be 100% clear on what you do.
I have met enough bloggers in person who profess that I am exactly offline how I am online. In the next breath, pros often explain how they have experienced a few awkward encounters where offline human beings behaved quite differently than carefully crafted, online blogger personas. I experienced this once or twice at offline events with a few well-known bloggers but my dear blogging buddies online always proved to be genuine when I meet them offline.
Stop Acting; Stop Trying
Some bloggers put on an act quite unlike their true personality. Other bloggers try to be a specific blogger quite unlike their true nature. People sense this split and largely stay away in most cases. In rare cases, online personas attract huge followings as a budding celebrity but every single one of these personas crashes and burns over the long haul.
Simply observe a high percentage of YouTube personalities; these actors make serious bank and generate clout but slam into a litany of problems because no happy, clear human operates primarily from an inauthentic stance.
Stop acting. Stop trying to be a blogger different than your genuine, true nature.
Be you. Blog you.
The world accepts bloggers who accept themselves. The world loves bloggers who love themselves. Note how loving and accepting yourself is different than being in love with yourself. Being in love with yourself sprouts from low self esteem and a blanket rejection of self. Only broken individuals who secretly hate themselves pump themselves up with some contrived online persona arrogantly full of braggadocio.
Loving and accepting yourself means hugging yourself as you truly are. My wardrobe consists of t-shirts, shorts and sweats because my true nature knows clothes, status and other ego-driven things are completely worthless, useless wastes of time and energy as far as using these things to impress human beings. I am not completely void of vanity but care little of impressing people because I accept myself.
Taking this general self-accepting attitude helped me reach the next level of blogging success because my self-acceptance, honest nature and authentic approach allows me to shine a bit more brightly than other pros who appear to be faking it a little bit, focusing a too much on trying too hard to be someone else while I am at peace with being me, blogging who I really am and allowing my authentic nature to permeate every aspect of my blogging campaign.
Be you.
Allow your true nature to bleed through your blog, brand and online business.
Reach the next level of blogging success.
by Ryan Biddulph | Blogging, Guest Posts |
This is a guest post by Ryan Biddulph. He shares smart blogging tips at Blogging From Paradise.
Outreach seems confusing sometimes.
Bloggers offer advice for networking the right way. But the same bloggers cold pitch fellow bloggers guest post opportunities and link exchanges.
Who do you trust?
What does it really mean to network the right way?
I want to give you a short, sweet guide for networking effectively, intelligently and compassionately.
Help People
Generously help people.
Ideas:
- retweet blog posts
- share blog posts on Facebook
- comment genuinely on blogs from your niche
- mention bloggers on your blog
Helping people is the quickest way to get connected. Blogger outreach pros generously help people persistently. Connected bloggers reach out with a kind, giving hand. Fellow bloggers appreciate your generosity. Bloggers gravitate toward generous bloggers because everyone loves people who give freely.
Cut the Strings of Expectation
Release expectations. Ask for nothing in return.
Help bloggers. Cut the strings.
Be disciplined in not asking anything of bloggers you help as the friendship forms organically. Allow bloggers to get to know you, like you and trust you. Let the process unfold gracefully.
Help bloggers, ask for nothing and let these folks see that you are interested in them versus being interested in what they can do for you.
Allow Father Time to Bond You
Time serves as the most critical element in the networking game because time allows bonds to grow organically.
I recall chatting with a fellow blogger for an extended period of time. Neither party wanted anything from each other. We simply helped one another, cut the strings of expectation and allowed our bond to grow seamlessly. Time bonded us. Now we are good buddies because we allowed time to connect us the right way.
Be patient. Relax. Help people freely. Release any expectations. Do not ask bloggers to do anything for you in return for the help you offered bloggers. Take your time. Fall in love with serving people. Father Time ensures generous actions plus detachment makes you a big time, connected blogger.
Common Networking Errors
Look out for these blogger outreach mistakes:
- cold pitching bloggers; emailing strangers asking for guest post opportunities, link exchanges and free advertising on their blogs
- rushing the outreach process; retweeting 3 blog posts over 1 week before asking for a testimonial from a trusted, pro blogger
- asking for endorsements before you have endorse-able skills; an increasing number of new or intermediate bloggers routinely ask me for endorsements but none have endorse-able skills yet
- attempting to manipulate bloggers by asking them to your 100 blogger round up mainly to get a retweet, Facebook Share or list email mention to their large, loyal tribe
Most bloggers network the wrong way because fear makes you do stuff you do not want to do. Perhaps everything seems to be moving along way too slowly with your blogging efforts. Panic arises in your being. Instead of generously, patiently helping top pros in your niche from a detached approach you desperately cold email 50 pro bloggers today asking for a free guest posting opportunity. 49 pro bloggers ignore your email. 1 pro blogger reads your pitch but rejects your offer based on the quality of your writing.
Face, feel and release your fears. Blog from a loving, generous, trusting energy.
Write diligently. Publish posts frequently. Network the right way.
Blogger outreach is less about reaching out and more about helping out. Serve fellow bloggers. Cut the strings of expectation. Earn trust. Prove your genuine interest in fellow human beings.
Do blogger outreach the right way.
by Ryan Biddulph | Blogging, Guest Posts |
This is a guest post by Ryan Biddulph. He shares smart blogging tips at Blogging From Paradise.
5:04 PM.
My ego wants to take a break.
My heart told me to write this post.
I have been a professional blogger for a decade. Hands down, listening to your heart over your head feels incredibly uncomfortable sometimes because professional bloggers are not enlightened beings.
I deeply enjoy helping people. But I also love to kick back, relax and to be comfortable too.
How do you find the proper mix between generous service and a little bit of self-service? Nobody knows. But your heart knows.
I do not advise working 16 hour blogging days. I do not recommend publishing one blog post monthly before putting your feet up until next month. Find the point between rendering oodles of generous service and a tiny bit of self-service to find your professional blogging sweet spot. Or find this point to position yourself to become a professional blogger.
How do you find this critical point? Listen to your heart over your ego. How do you listen to your heart over your ego? Prepare to practice the freeing but highly uncomfortable practice of knowing thyself. Ouch.
Know Thyself
Observe yourself in the light of truth. Own your frame of mind. Become aware of when you think and act from a dominant energy of fear versus thinking and acting from a dominant energy of love. Face, feel and release fears to blog predominantly from love. Rinse, wash, repeat. Fear is selfish. Love is selfless. Move more toward love to be a generous servant.
Observe my real world example.
10 minutes ago, a thought-feeling crossed my mind:
“I already published 2 guest posts and 3 blog posts today. I networked genuinely too. I feel tired after hiking a mountain for 2 hours. That’s enough. Break time.”
Knowing myself and observing my mind as it really was, I noticed my ego’s tabulation of blogging work completed, hike executed and general feeling of doing enough was a self-serving, common limiting belief I need to be aware of. I watched the feelings of fear, discomfort and agitation arise. Ego wants to nap. Ego wants to eat sweets. Ego wants to help itself.
Through this ego shouting I heard a small, still voice suggest I write this post for Cori and you rocking readers. The gentle voice told me it’d require 20 minutes of my time and a scant amount of my energy to write and submit the blog post. I listened to this voice because this voice is my heart. But dealing with my ego’s whining felt uncomfortable.
I wrote the post. I submitted the post. I did not push myself to do it (ego) but I allowed myself to be guided to do it (heart) through the simple but uncomfortable act of knowing myself by observing my mind as it really was.
Pros Are Human Beings
Pros find this lesson uncomfortable to learn and honor because pros are human beings subject to fear, selfishness and self-centeredness. I deeply love helping people. I do my best to be a generous servant. But since I am not an altruistic, enlightened blogging being I wrestle with my ego and its selfish motives begging me to hold back versus letting go and giving even more freely.
Note; the lesson I am teaching does not involve working hard, pushing yourself and forcing yourself to blog because all motives fueling these actions are fears of the ego, not love from the heart. I mean to share how observing your mind as it really is lets you know yourself. Knowing yourself lets you face, feel and release fears so you can blog generously from the heart.
Generous bloggers grounded in trust of both self and the blogging process eventually go pro.
